The Toyota Prius

Today’s hate rant will center around the Toyota Prius (pronounced pry-us for added disdain). It is quite simply one of the ugliest cars you can purchase, right up there with the Scion xB and the dreadful Nissan Cube. There is not a single angle from which you can look at the car and have it look aesthetically pleasing. The car is so downright revolting that I’m surprised it doesn’t come with a bucket for you to keep in your garage next to your Prius for the inevitable vomit that will be expelled from your body after being forced to look at it for more than 3 seconds.



Sorry for that NSFW image, but it had to be done. There are many schools of thought on why the Prius looks the way it does. Some say that the design is extremely aerodynamic to improve fuel economy, but many believe, as do I, that the people who drive this car want to shout to the heavens that they are saving the earth. Since the motor is silent under 5 MPH when it runs on electric, and when it runs on fuel it sounds like a wind up toy, they figured the best way to let people know about their self-righteousness was to make it uglier than Sarah Jessica Parker, quite an astonishing feat if you ask me.



And this brings us to our main point, the drivers of the Prius, the self-righteous so-called saviors of the planet, who drive around glaring at people who own Land Rovers and cars with big V8 engines, proclaiming that we are destroying the OZONE layer with our CO2 emissions and wasting what precious little oil still lurks beneath the surface of the planet. What these ignorant buffoons fail to realize is that their precious little “green” cars do much more damage to the environment than any Land Rover will ever do. The nickel in the batteries that power the electric motor is mined in Canada, which is then shipped to Europe where it is refined, then to China where they make it usable in a battery, then to Japan where the nickel is actually placed into the batteries and then into the cars. Once you consider that the batteries must be replaced every seven years or so, you start to get the picture.

So, not only is the car not environmentally friendly and uglier than Sarah Jessica Parker’s face, but if you drive it like a normal person, it’s not even more fuel efficient than a normal vehicle! Top Gear did a test driving the Prius and a BMW M3 around their test track for ten laps, and guess what, the M3 got better gas mileage by almost 2MPG! The bottom line is this, the Prius is ugly, the people who drive them are for the most part complete idiots who think their shit doesn’t stink, and the way that it is made causes more damage to the environment than a Land Rover. That is why my hatred for the Prius remains unbridled.